Since I decided to take my awareness into my heart and move into life from this point of attention I have encountered some of the worst behaviour from what Bill Hicks called ‘fevered egos’ daily. Personal development and growth aren’t lost on me as I see these challenges as opportunities. Everyone who has gaslit me projected their bullshit onto me and shown me their shadows are all mirrors showing me that which needs to be exposed to the light of my awareness and healed within myself. When I was inspired (by the Star Brothers card from my Starseed Oracle cards) to open the back of my heart up I was instantly met with some experiences that challenged my sense of equilibrium. I saw greed, insecurity, conflict and misinterpretation manifest the next day in three vastly different moments. These aspects of deep shadow came at me like arrows to which I calmly moved aside as they sailed past me, onward into the void to where they had come from. The individuals who had cast these barbs all had their time with me, I moved towards them from my heart space with lucidity, calmness, openness, honesty, dignity, and authenticity. What I could control was my response to the challenges that presented themselves, and I did so, setting boundaries with all three egos while maintaining my sense of peace with what was. There is no spiritual ego in that statement, I remained present, listened to these people’s position, and subsequently gave them the space to be themselves, but made it clear what I would and would not tolerate (from myself and them) and what I would surrender to.
“Look at every path closely and deliberately, then ask yourself this crucial question, does this path have heart? If it does, then the path is good. If it doesn’t, then it is of no use.” ~Carlos Castaneda
If there is an aspect of choosing to move your point of attention into your heart space and doing your best to move from there (we are all having human experiences and no one is perfect, ego has a way of creeping in and taking control) it is that the light of source energy as pours into your being will expand into the morphic field of the simulation of the matrix of control and draw out the shadow, casting source energy’s radiance into the darkest recesses of the individual and the collective unconscious. Many will come at you inadvertently as their pain bodies are drawn out in horror as they are exposed to this powerful exuberance. It’s a matter of survival to get the appropriate response from you, and if it’s not met then you may well be harangued until your own pain body awakens, or in my case, it doesn’t. Here is where the rubber meets the road if we are to employ the Carlos Castaneda technique of shadowing oneself. Gary Z McGee wrote in The Art of Shadowing Yourself for wakingtimes.com :
Shadowers are seekers. They are ruthless explorers. When shadowers shadow themselves, they are shadowing inner knowledge, sacred wisdom, and hidden information. They are in search of the golden shadow, where latent creativity is hidden beneath layer upon layer of cultural conditioning, religious indoctrination, and political brainwashing.
Though this process is directed inwardly, applying it outwardly to those who expose their shadows to you as you align with source energy allows for deeper integration in my experience of my own shadows wounds, behaviours, patterns, and fearful limitations. I find this process invaluable in my personal development as it shines a light on those aspects of myself that haven’t been healed, and therefore allow me to stalk my own shadow, hunting it with ruthless cunningness and humour. I have had plenty of, ‘oh there you are’ moments since moving my point of attention into my heart. How I chose to respond to the circumstances and experiences that present themselves to me has been a revelation as to how complacent my ego is in its position at my side. It is no longer driving my vehicle, but it sure as shit wants to in those challenging moments that have been presenting themselves! What I have discovered in the light of awareness when faced with the aspects of myself manifesting in others and their salvos at me is the compounded woundings of my own ego’s perceived insecurities, repressed pain, failures, and setbacks that are drawn out of these people by my alignment with source energy.
The morphic resonance of source energy and my alignment to it then creates a stream that begins to imbue the matrix of control and anything not in synch with this frequency in my own life rapidly leaves me. I have seen connections with people who no longer resonate with me dim and fade, societal mechanisms that I attuned to weeks ago have become abhorrent to me as I see the lack of integrity in their systems, I have looked at my own life with ruthlessness and humour and scythed away all that no longer meets my vibrational match. It is an ongoing process, one of a moment to moment action, and perhaps the most telling experience of all is as Gary Z McGee says:
The shadower acts as a mirror to the world, revealing the shadows of others. People fear their own shadows and so they tend to fear the ruthless honesty of the shadower. They cringe. They balk. They reel inside the slow simmer of their own cognitive dissonance. Nevertheless, the shadower relentlessly injects wakefulness into an otherwise somnambulant world.
Walking the line is not for the faint of heart. I stumble and fall, I am after all having a human experience, but I get to my feet, and know that my purpose at this moment is to be a vessel for the light of source. I will let it burn within me, a furnace where the transmutation of shit turns into solid gold.
https://www.wakingtimes.com/the-art-of-shadowing-yourself/ Gary Z McGee on The Art of Shadowing Oneself
http://www.wakingtimes.com/morphic-resonance-morphic-fields-collective-memory-the-habits-of-nature/ Rupert Sheldrake and Morphic Resonance. Changing the paradigm through holding the frequency of source energy embodied into this simulation. Those of us doing this will bring it down once and for all.