Transmutation Through Creative Expression. How I Became the Men in All my Novels. Healing The Shadow by Writing About my Ancestral Wounds. Part one.

One of the most hilarious aspects of my conscious awakening has been the experience of understanding that the male characters in my novels Sanctum, Entwined and United are all aspects of my consciousness being expressed across the multiverse. My writing process I imagine is not unique, many writers channel their consciousness existing across the lines of time in other forms, most albeit with awareness of not doing so. I consider these aspects of my consciousness that overlay electromagnetically with my energetic field and write with me as tour guides into dreams made real on other frequency bands of existence. It’s like having a radio that dial you can tune into several stations but only listen to one at a time. Harmon’s ability to entrain with my energetic field and then move that dial so we can both perceive the same storyline is a gift that I am only too happy to share. The literary language we use casts words like a spell that opens the mind’s eyes so that the reader can peer into the infinite forever. That abyss for me has always beckoned, intrigued, and beguiled me into venturing deeper into its limitlessness, and so I have surrendered to its magnetism and in my trance-like state created tomes of wondrous beauty. Little did I know I was being shown those parts of myself in the male characters of these novels that were on their journeys of self-discovery, conscious awakening, and redemption through surrender and trust in force guiding them onward.

Throughout my life I have stalked my shadow, seeing it in the mirror of other people I interacted with, and being aware of its presence when it swung around from behind me to enact a pattern, behaviour, or reaction to a circumstance by assuming the forward frontal position, another overlay of sorts, but from the inside out. In the light of mindfulness, I have been able to catch these sequences, feel into them, embody the feeling of where this power comes from and dissolve its meaning to heal. The last four years have seen an acceleration in this process, and therefore the work has gone into overdrive. Energetically the precision of ages is forcing all that is hidden into the light of awareness, collectively and individually. I have witnessed in the last few weeks alone some of the worst behaviour from people in living memory. I look at every interaction as a chance to see that this is my shadow manifesting before me and ask myself the questions, Do I need to set boundaries? What would love do? How can I be compassionate? Ego has tussled with me on many occasions, wanting to take the reigns with shadow, and I have been as mindful as I can be. In 2020 I decided to not let fear ever take the wheel of my embodied life experience again and opened my heart in order to fully surrender and trust in source energy. This choice aligned with an acceleration in my personal growth and conscious awareness that gifted me some profound and deeply personal revelations.

In 2021 I have begun to make more content that will allow people to have a greater connection to me, my work, my insights, and creative ideas through videos posted on my youtube channel, and podcasts that will be released on a couple of platforms. It was during the making of video content that I had the insight about the male characters in my novels and my own ancestral shadow being exposed by me to be seen and healed as I felt through the writing process. What had evaded me in 2001 when I began to write the first draft of Sanctum was that my ancestral wounds were being scribed in this novel. At the time of writing this book, I was walking a line between subverting my conscious awakening and allowing it to blossom due to my drug addictions. The first draft was primarily a love story, but I had dredged up the first acknowledgments of the end of my lifetime on Atlantis before its final devastating destruction by the misuse of the tuaoi crystal as explained by Edgar Cayce. Teal, the main male character in Sanctum encountered his ancestral shadow and went through a journey of healing and redemption, followed by transmutation and eventual surrender to the love, therefore, healing his own shadow. I had unwittingly written about my journey towards healing, and not even recognised that he was the man I wanted to be.

Kobe, the character that I based on my closest friend while living in Vancouver, Eryn, had attributes that I wanted to embody in my everyday life but was falling short of doing so in reality. He acted with complete trust in the higher power that guided him on a truly epic adventure that to the logical mind would seem completely bonkers. He is the fulcrum of Sanctum, the entire paradigm shift and the eventual interfacing between frequency bands of the inner earth and the surface of the planet are only made possible by his selflessness, his determination, and strength of conviction. In 2001/2002 my drug addiction and sexual prowess (and I mean valour here, I was fearless in my sexuality) were rampant, but the same motivations to have sex with beautiful women and getting obliterated on stimulants didn’t translate into any other facets of my life experience. It would be years later that I began to embody these characteristics, but there, in the pages of my opus magnum were the tremors of what would shake out all that was hidden for me so that the light of awareness could shine upon these woundings and I could feel to heal each one, giving them no more meaning in my life and make the choice to make integrity, dignity, strength, and authenticity the brightest lights emanating from my heart.

Writing Entwined in 2008, the distance between the man that I wanted to be and the man I was like night and day. However, following my heart in the way that I did by creating Oho Ake Books and starting up my own publishing company was a huge step towards anchoring the purpose of my life for the last thirteen years. Buford Somerset’s odyssey in Entwined was a twentieth-century version of Homer’s rendition of the epic voyage home for Odysseus from Troy, coupled with a detective story that extrapolated what I had learned about the non-human force controlling our planet and the simulation within the walls of the speed of light. Buford followed his excitement, never questioning what his intuition told him, travelling the world being patient, compassionate, kind, and often selfless in his demeanour. One by one the most awful truths he discovered began to crush what innocence he had until the ugliest truth of them all drove him to alcoholism in Egypt. For years I had followed my excitement, all over the country I was born, following my intuition, then travelled abroad where my expeditions went into overdrive. Buford’s desire to come to terms with why he had childhood experiences that affected him so traumatically had sent him on a crusade that would engulf almost twenty years. This was me again, a restless soul who couldn’t stop moving because what this would entail for me would be even greater self-reflection and contemplation on what had transpired due to the monsters that had inflicted their wrath on my childhood.

My novels reflect all the facets of my healing process. I discovered this in 2021

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