With the deepening awareness of conscious awakening and the unfolding understanding that comes from a life of sobriety and integration, I have found many concepts that have been tossed around by authors (myself included) to hold truths. There is no doubt that we tap into the subconscious when we authors channel our literary dances into prose and poetry. In the subconscious is all knowledge. Like the submerged part of an iceberg within the sea, this is where our awareness connects to the ocean of cosmic consciousness. That ocean is called the Akashic record in the mystery schools, the collective consciousness by contemporary philosophers, scientists, psychologists, and mystics. In the last few years, I have made decisions around what it means to me to become the best man I can be if I am to uphold my sacred and divine masculinity and embody it in a way that honours the sacred divine feminine in myself and those who I meet. Many years ago now, I met a woman at the Laundry bar here in Wellington one night out, her name was Kim and she was from Switzerland. Up until that moment in my life I had embodied a self-identity that ran parallel with the ‘hook up’ culture but with some caveats. I was attentive, affectionate, and devoted to my sexual connections in a way that honoured the sacred nature of sex.
That night, I was hanging out with another Swiss friend at the bar who conversed with Kim most of the night between Kim and me laughing, talking, and sharing time. I was around 43 years old, Kim was in her mid-30s, and Kim told my friend that she was grateful that I was older for there was a sense of maturity around me that she appreciated, and therefore it made her feel comfortable and safe. Her attraction to me became obvious to me that night as the night went on. I enjoyed my time with Kim, she was funny, intelligent, and considerate. She was a great listener, and storyteller, and was well travelled. She regaled her experiences that night to her audience that fluctuated from one to three people, creating a strong attraction for me. A well travelled authentic woman reminded me of what excited me about what I loved most of all about being on the road. Kim’s honesty and vulnerability around the reason she was travelling opened my heart in empathy as she explained what had happened between her and her former partner. I became conscious of how I had acted like her former partner (out of fear of intimate connection) in my life, and how I had been on the receiving end of such behaviour. What was initially going to be a night of deep affectionate, attentive sexual devotion (from me to her) became an expansion of my compassion into an overwhelming need to simply hold her. I wish I had said to her, ‘I see you. I feel your pain and acknowledge your divinity’ without coming across as being patronising, for I genuinely did feel compassion for her and for myself. I faced my own shadow that night. Overwhelmed, I created some hard boundaries about what I was then available for. Kim may not have wanted me to erect those boundaries, her desire for sexual connection was clear when she kissed me, but I held my ground. I could not honour that request if that was what she truly was asking of me. I embraced her that night like she was my true north. I held her in my arms with my heart completely open. Loving her as fearlessly as stranger could. In those moments I was vessel for a love that was not my own, but was meant to heal her if she would allow it to do so.
Our time together for the next day was spent sightseeing in Wellington until she returned to where she was staying and then she moved on from the city and continued travelling north, eventually continuing her odyssey of self-discovery and adventure. I never wondered what would have become of our lives if we had remained in contact, and eventually had created space in our lives to continue a connection. I felt that she and I had come together for many reasons and that she was instrumental in my movement away from a life that no longer held the integrity I wanted to embody in connection with my fellow men and women. I wanted to dive into the portal of Kim’s heart and know her, understand and comprehend the inner light that illuminated her. I never saw a future for us, but the adventure of getting to know her resonated in my entire being. This connection planted a seed in me that began to germinate over the years that followed. Today, I do my best to honour those first rumblings of respect, authenticity, and vulnerability that arose when I was with Kim. Gone are the vestiges of a life where sexual connection was the motivating force for connection with women. I see their power, grace, and divinity and am in awe of their transcendent ability with sharper clarity, even more so than my former lovers’ deepest moments of complete surrender during sexual intimacy.
Now, in 2023 I have also chosen a life of deeper connection to the energies whose space I share. Invisible and visible. That connectivity grants me insight and foresight that is moving my levels of awareness into realms of feeling that I am not able to share or put into words easily. It is a solitary experience. It may not last, but I yield to the will I feel. Peculiarly, this decision has cast me into realms of connectivity that defy the limitations of the body. My senses and my imagination often go into a playful dance with one another, and I ride the waves in total presence as images and visions pervade my mind’s eye and I sink my attention deeply into my body creating hormonal, chemical, and electrifying ripples in my meridian pathways, muscles, sinews, and organs. When receiving acupuncture on Friday this week I was bestowed with such visions. Before the visions commenced light drizzling energetic rain that fell onto my body sending rippling waves of energy coursing over my skin. With each pass from head to toe the energy sank into muscles, organs, and blood. The experience was surreal, ephemeral, and completely immersive, but went to whole new levels as a life reel began to play for me in my minds eye, one that was not my current life experience, but one where Kim and I had made different decisions around our connection. Up until this moment, Kim had not been a part of my conscious awareness for years.
It was trippy. In the moments that followed I saw how our connection had deepened, our trust and love for one another grew, and our decision to live our lives as an adventure brought new life into this world. Our children experienced global culture as we moved from place to place, travelling to not only broaden our perspectives of reality but the two children that had come through us. This decision made Kim and I clear, strong and united in our purpose. To say that we adored one another would do our connection no justice. As I write this blog I remember the energy coming from her eyes as she picked up one of our daughters and I picked up our other daughter on a tropical beach. We held each other’s stare with an acknowledgement that we had found each other, and so, ourselves.
Following the work of David Dubyne, I have heard him talk of the movement of the Birkeland currents originating from the Orion Nebula, powering our star/sun. The Orion Nebula is a ‘star factory’, and also the destination of the soul according to legacy cultures like the ancient Egyptians. David Dubyne and Danny Wilten show how the Kabbala and the Kundalini are the micro representations of the macro where plasma filaments connect the Universe electrically, sending information throughout space (that’s an oxymoron, there is no ‘space’ it’s all occupied by energy) like a brain’s neural network, and the Birkeland currents are embodied in the human form (kundalini) as a means to connect the two energetic streams. So, what if hermetic observation of as above, so below, gives us a glimpse of this process and as the Birkeland currents flowing out of the Orion Nebula that powers our sun are weakening so the electromagnetic energy that binds timelines and holds them apart from each other is causing these streams of consciousness (timelines) to slip into one another? The overlapping then brings into the awareness of the consciousness embodied in an avatar (body) a witnessing of another life being lived right alongside their primary reality. Like watching a movie where you can not only identify with the actors, they are you, and you feel and experience everything in the movie like you’re in it.
This is a wild concept for many to intellectualise, let alone analyse or interpret. I am doing my best to science the shit out of my experiences as much as I am offering mystical empirical evidence for the macro/micro unfoldment of a cosmic upheaval that is taking place as our sun goes to sleep and we enter the ‘deep freeze’ phase of glaciation on our planet until in 2040 when we have entered the Grand Solar Minimum. With the electrical discharge of our solar system star the electromagnetic fields are in enormous flux. As the planet goes through these changes, so do we. Many will not be aware of these changes, others will be observant and put down their changes in mood, biological responses, and hormonal fluctuations to causes that may have indeed been medical procedures, environmental toxins, pollution and bodily toxicity, or various other experiences. The cosmic play at hand is far-reaching and involves all of creation. So many will succumb to its machinations in complete ignorance or shock as it activates our living planet into geophysical life and upheaval. There is much wisdom in tracking the knowledge left to us by the ancients through their myth, art, iconography and literature. Perhaps the most profound acknowledgment is that our consciousness is not limited to one avatar (body) and there is no death. This may give consolation to many who fear losing their lives as they confront the hunter that is always over their left shoulder as the Nagual Man of Knowledge Don Juan Matus says.
https://www.brianweiss.com/about-the-books/same-soul-many-bodies/ Dr. Brian Weiss. Author of Same Soul, Many Bodies.
https://www.space.com/32728-parallel-universes.html And to create a degree of balance… down the mainstream rabbit hole.
https://www.sciencedirect.com/topics/earth-and-planetary-sciences/birkeland-current The Birkeland currents.