The summer of 1996/1997 was one of the most formative of my life experience thus far. It culminated in my venturing to the Festival of Possibilities in March 1997, and it was here that I would meet perhaps the most important woman of my life (once again, thus far). Annette was sitting with her partner at the time across from me during a workshop when she caught my attention. My attraction was ancient, energetic, and insanely bold in its power. I was overwhelmed when I saw her. It wasn’t a physical attraction, I was just drawn to her. I couldn’t keep my eyes off her, there was something about her resonance that was familiar to me, like I knew her, but not in the body she was in. In 1997 I was truly riding the crest of the wave of energy flowing into the Tasman Bay region. It was a hotbed of intense and powerful changes and shifts to the energetic field of the planet, invisible waves of plasma energy from deep within our solar system, galaxy, and beyond, I swear were anchoring themselves in this part of the planet. The South Island, Te Wai Pounamu as a whole was getting hammered with this energy, and it was palatable where ever you travelled to on it if you were sensitive. From the mid-1990s till the year I left the country of my birth, beings were rooting themselves in trees in Queenstown around the lake (that’s a story for another blog), the veil of perception was gossamer thin (my possession experience in Dunedin), and all you had to do was be open to the forces coming in and you could have some of the most fundamental growth and personal acceleration (my experience at the Gathering festival 1996/1997).
After the workshop had ended Annette and her partner left, and I had a moment of inspiration. I got up from my position and went to one of the stalls that I had walked past and bought a carved steatite, Ganesh. I didn’t see her again for the rest of the day, but I clutched in my hand that figurine and imbued myself into that tiny idol, body, mind, and spirit. The next morning I saw her alone and walked up to her, asking my spirit to move through me for I had no idea what I was going to say to her. The words that came out of my mouth were definitely ‘inspired, in spirit’. I said, “Excuse me, This is Lord Ganesh.” I held the figurine up so she could see it. “He is the first God in the Hindu pantheon of Gods, he is the patron of the arts and sciences and he is the remover of obstacles. I want you to have this idol so he can remove the obstacle of distance so that my love always reaches you.” Completely bonkers, I know. I placed it in her hand, then backed away, and left her standing there. My heart was hammering in my chest. I felt so vulnerable, yet truly authentic. There was something deeply familiar about her, as though we had known each other for many many lifetimes and here we were seeing each other again (at least this was my feeling).
Later that day she came up to me and said, “Can I hold your hand at the closing ceremony?” Initially shocked, I agreed after gathering my wits. When that time came she came and found me and when her hand went into mine, I felt a jolt go through my body like I had grabbed an electrified fence. The festival site vanished around me and I was standing on plain, tall grass blowing in a breeze, a First Nations woman moving ahead of me, her hands caressing the grass as it moved in the wind. Her jet black hair ran down her back, buffalo skin clothing adored her frame, and a band around her forehead kept her hair from blowing in her eyes. She turned and looked at me smiling, a radiant brown-skinned beauty from a world long since gone. I heard a voice in my head, a man’s voice say her name, ‘Moonbear’, and I was back in Founders Park, her hand in mine, her partners in her other hand. She had noticed my glazing over and asked if I was still with her. I affirmed I was, but didn’t tell her what I had seen till later in April 1997 when we became lovers. Annette continued travelling with her partner that summer and I thought I would never see her again. One afternoon, where I was living in Ngatimoti, she was standing at my door when Trisha, my housemate and the owner of the house I was staying in answered a knocking at the door.
Annette deserves a blog (or a series of blogs) of her own. I won’t dive too deeply into our time together here as I want for the sake of brevity recall the most monumental climatic (sexual orgasm) of my life (once again thus far) which I shared with her. Without going to a play-by-play, the morning of our last moment together in Melbourne, Australia, we made love one last time. It was deeply tantric, we surrendered to one another perhaps knowing this was our last dance in this lifetime. I ran the gamut of emotions in that sexual connection, I cried tears of sadness, grief, joy, and laughter and when I was about to climax and have an ejaculation I told her to stop and remove herself from her position as she straddled me. She pulled me closer and said, ‘I want this.’ From the base of my spine uncoiled my Kundalini energy, it had moved up through my chakras (energy centres) on my body several times during the sex we had had that morning, hitting my heart vortex and my throat, so that I could voice how grateful I was for this precious connection with Annette. To have found her again, meant everything to me. This time it didn’t just stop at my throat chakra it blasted out of the top of my skull like a geyser and I traversed the vast distance (at least perceived to be vast by me at the time) of space in an instant. My awareness stopped in front of a cluster of stars, light bluish-white, silently glimmering in front of not my body, my awareness. I knew right away what I was looking at. The Pleiades. I then heard a female voice say, ‘Welcome Home.’ An instant later I was slammed back into my body, Annette thrusting deeply, a look of bemusement on her face as she said, ‘Where did you go?’ Before I could answer I had parted with my seed during the best orgasm of my life.
Annette left that day to travel to Germany, and we lost contact later that winter. She became distant and accused me of some behaviour that was questionable after she had left, her friends telling her that I had outstayed my welcome. This was a pattern for me, but, I give you, the reader my word that I did nothing untoward to anyone. I did do my best to give one of Annette’s friends a hard, but honest appraisal that they were worthy of respect and love, and that came across as being harsh potentially. I stayed with Annette’s parents for a couple of weeks after she had gone, and that felt strained too. It was a strange time. I thought that I had the care and respect of Annette’s friends in Melbourne, but as soon as I left, it became obvious to me that this wasn’t the case. This had nothing to do with me, it was about other people’s projections. Countertransference. Despite this, I love Annette and adore her, for me this life holds no equal. Much has changed for me since we parted, and I have no intentions of finding or making contact with her. She was a catalyst for so much for me, a fuse that set my life alight, and her parting gift to me was to fly me to the Pleiades, taking me home. Bless.
